My eyes read “pearl jam”. My brain read “pearl jam”. But my memory of what “pearl jam” was, deleted “pearl jam” and inserted “space jam”.

So even though I was reading and thinking pearl jam, I was also remembering that pearl jam is a 1990s half live action, half cartoon movie starring the looney toons and micheal jordan in an attempt to play basketball better than some aliens for some reason.

That’s pearl jam, alright?

Well. I notice the headline doesn’t say the movie has a GOOD script.

Damn. My rent is 800, and it feels way too high. Should be like 600.

And do think. That guy on the roof was inches away last summer.

Dude…why is your rent 2K+?

I thought instagram was for college aged girls to post thirst pics, and then complain that they can’t find anybody who respects them for their intellect.

…why is this in /c/technology? Am I missing context?

No.

NOT SO FAST!!!

I don’t even HAVE a facebook account.

I have a psvr, but only one company makes an app you can watch your own files on. And they charge $30 for the app.

But then they say “no porn”.

Well then I’m not buying your overpriced VR app!!! Why do you think I was even looking in the first place??? I was going to download some porn files in VR, and then watch it them through a usb stick in the ps4 on your app! But noooooooooooo. You hate money! Asshole!

Sorry. Not you. I was talking to the app.

I feel like you’re right that they’d say these things, but it still makes me want to argue.

I guess I don’t want to argue you per se. I want to argue earth…for existing. All of this exists, and I have to live here.

Oh. Yeah, no you nailed it then. I just misinterpreted your tone. I thought you were argueing.

Ok…do you NOT see this country as a special kind of stupid?

C’mon now. Don’t do that. Be better than that.

What we have to understand, and accept is that the election was not stolen. It exists in a broken system where only a handful of states actually have votes that matter. And this time, those states willingly voted for trump. Texas was never going to vote for any democrat. California was never going to vote for any republican.

The few states that mattered, namely PA, voted trump.

It sucks, but thats what happened. You can’t just call fraud because you don’t like the gerrymandering and the oppressed voting. Those are issues to address in the years BEFORE the election. Start addressing them now for 2028.

Wha…oh my god. How have I never realized this???

Now if you’l excuse me, I have to make a collect call to my parents. My name is Bob Adababyitzaboi.

“You know, the house next to the one that has that little cunt kid. You know the one. Always leaving his bike on the lawn, and being a real disrespectful little shit if you try to explain it’s gonna get stolen in THIS neighborhood. The house next to that. The white one, not the blue one on the other side.”

Mailman: “Oh. Yeah. I DO know that little fucker. Damn near tripped over his bike when it was covered in snow, and I didn’t know it was there.”

I mean, just call them Idaho Fries at that point. Besides fufilling your criteria, it’s actually more accurate all around. The french fry was NEVER french in orgin. I have no idea how it got that name.

Same thing with fortune cookies. Go over to china, and it’s not a thing. They’d be so confused if you went to china and requested an individually wrapped crunchy pastry that comes with a sheet of paper which predicts your future, gives you lottory numbers, and teaches you to speak the local language. All for free because you ate a meal with them.

Yeah, when I put it in text form, it sounds insane, doesn’t it? Well, it’s also American in orgin.

I really hope he just dies. And not from a shooter. I don’t want his base to have him as a martyr. I want him to have a clogged artery, or a heart attack, and just his body gives out. With his lifestyle, and his eating habits, it wouldn’t be too hard to imagine. I mean, he LOVES McDonalds! He can’t even eat it when it’s hot out of the restaurant. He has to send someone to go get it. Which means he’s eating these fries cold, and the sandwiches are luke warm at BEST.

Which really goes to help explain how/why he served that basketball team plates and plates of hours cold McDonalds. THAT’S WHAT HE’S USED TO!!! THAT’S WHAT HE THINKS IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE!!!

Meanwhile, I’m 20-30 years younger, was raised on fast food, and now I can’t even eat beef because it gave me cancer. I’m doing my best to try to avoid the foods I’m NOT supposed to have, but that’s what I was raised on. That’s what I love. I’m also a former alcoholic who gave up drinking. Cold turkey. Imagine one day having to upend your entire palate, and eat only foods you don’t like. But I’m doing it. I know it’s what my body needs.

Meanwhile this guy is out here literally greasy with junk food, probably 100lbs heavier than I am, 20-30 years older than I am, and he’s just hoppin around just fine! While I had to spend almost a year of my life hooked up to radioactive bags to pump cancer drugs into me for days at a time, making me so weak at the time that some days I couldn’t even get out of bed.

AND THE GOVERNMENT SAID CANCER IS NOT A DISABILITY!!!

I hate this fat fuck for so many reasons. Many of which are probably shared by the vast majority of you here. But on a personal level I hate him for being the living embodiment of how NOT to take care of yourself, and he’s facing no consequences for it. I want the consequences. I want him to have to stop his lifestyle. If I can’t even cook my own 90% lean cheeseburgers, I damn sure want him to suffer not being able to eat fast food anymore.

Because everyday he doesn’t, it’s like saying to me “YOU can’t have the foods you love, because it’ll make your body sick. However, THIS GUY, who’s an irredeemable piece of shit can go ahead and do much much worse with zero consequences, because fuck you.”

So yeah. I want him to stuff his piggy little face, and just fall to the floor clutching his chest. I don’t want a shooter. I don’t want some agent of another government bombing him. I want his death to be his OWN doing. I want him for once in his god damn life to have to answer to consequences of his own actions. I’ve had to do it for years now. I don’t even recognize myself anymore based on my own habits now. Eating honey nut cherrios in the morning? What the fuck? What happened to a bacon double cheeseburger and a bottle of whiskey?

Oh, right. The consequences of my own actions treating my body like shit.

So…where’s his??? He’s been treating his body like shit for twice as long as I have. Where’s his consequence moment???

20 some years ago when that happened, I remember saying “What? That’s stupid…”. I was a teenager at the time. I was yelled at by adults saying “NO! IT’S NOT STUPID!!! WE’RE AMERICANS!!! FREEDOM FRIES ARE AN AMERICAN FOOD!!! WE GROW POTATOES IN IDAHO!!! NOT PARIS!!!”

Today, I’m 41. Teenager me wasn’t immature. Well, ok, I was, on a lot of things. But NOT on this. 41 year old me looks back and says teenager me was right.

This IS stupid.

French fries then, french fries now.