Oh I agree. It really requires -supported affordable housing. Although the best results come from integrating low-income units into mid-price housing so people can be near jobs and have decent groceries etc. Also mixing mid-price housing into high-end neighborhoods so the people who provide services can also live near where they work.

The real problem is landlords who’d rather sit on empty homes than lower the rent. And collude to keep rents inflated.

I’m pretty sure this is what you were listening to, and yeah it’s a pretty bleak situation:

2024 saw one of the slowest housing markets in 30 years. What will 2025 bring? https://www.npr.org/2024/12/29/nx-s1-5240991/2024-saw-one-of-the-slowest-housing-markets-in-30-years-what-will-2025-bring

The only glimmer of hope seems to be in cities that have put effort into building more homes. Capitalism isn’t going to solve this, because it only gets “luxury” housing built for the Haves.

One thing that is helping in California is the Builder’s Remedy Law projects, where, in cities that haven’t come up with a legit plan to create more affordable housing by the deadline, (usually because they don’t want Poors living there) developers can create huge new projects that don’t have to conform with the existing (overly restrictive and often based on redlining) zoning laws as long as they include 10% low-income units.

Having random superb owls appear in my feed is very cheerful!

It starts with acknowledging to them that you’re beginning to realize that your view of reality is different, shaped by your experience, and you can’t viscerally understand theirs, but you want to try. That the burden of explanation shouldn’t be on them, but you appreciate when they are willing to do so. This part should initially be done when you’re not in the middle of arguing/discussing. But in your own mind you should return to it when you are, and ask yourself, and then her, “what am I missing or misunderstanding, what context am I not seeing to help me better hear what she’s saying?”

And if she gives up, doesn’t want your solution, realize that your empathy may be all the solution she’s looking for from you. Especially if it’s something external, like a problem with her boss. You telling her what you think she should do about it would just add pressure on her, and probably wouldn’t fit with all the nuances of their dynamic. (Just an example) Instead, reminding her you have faith in her strength and intelligence will help her respond in ways that feel right to her, even if it’s not how you would have handled it.

In some of those situations, you can “solve” what you think is the problem, but it’s impossible for her to explain the aspects that make your “solution” inadequate. Your life experience is just so different, you think you understand but you don’t. And that just upsets her more. Women aren’t against solutions, they’re just done with men not actually understanding, even when they think they’re listening.

She’s weaponizing the soulcrushing banality of the DMV for good! Her deadpan face and stolid “I’m here all day anyway” refusal to give an inch, and then the little chink of sunshine through her castle wall as she helped you, a normal person who treated her with respect.

Toddler nothing, my cat apparently knows more macros than I do.

Hey, my little box turtle can really move when he’s attacking a snail! Poor little 🐌 👻 is like, “He came out of nowhere!”

That’s all good! From experience, owning vs. renting doesn’t help much to make cleaning any more enjoyable, at least not after the first week. But at least if you decide you just can’t deal with some aspect, you can change it.

Four cats and your jobs, you guys are definitely doing this on Hard Mode!

Maybe you could figure out some sort of rewards system, like cleaning the home => delivery dinner. And of course if you notice something is clean and you didn’t do it, voice your joy!

The Turtle Moves!

Even with their shells?

Not clonking?

Well, humans “bang” without banging either, so.

It’s a whole quotation, from The Colour of Magic maybe? You’ve heard of “banging” to refer to sexual congress, or do the kids not know that one these days? So, Spaceturtle-on-Spaceturtle action would be quite a big bang, and also a pune, or play on words.

I could murder a curry right now.

Well, the Dwarves give plenty of attention to the Fifth Elephant.

Yes his mom shouldn’t have to do this stuff for him, but if she’d taught him right he’d have been doing it for himself all these years.

I guess the one positive thing about his “whores” is that he won’t be trying to get you to take your mother’s place in bed. If he catches a disease, at least it can’t hurt your mom now.

Being stuck at home sucks, but I understand you need the financial support to get through university. Do whatever you can to ensure you have a good job lined up before you graduate so you can move out.

Any guys you might want to get involved with, bring them home to test, and eliminate any who don’t tell you, unsolicited, how wrong he is, and set an example by helping you.

I would like to say I use a heavy-duty dry swiffer on the floor (wood) every other day, but honestly maybe twice a week. It gets tons of dust and cat hair and it’s quiet and fast. I have an old fashioned feather duster that does a decent job on shelves of books and knickknacks without moving them, and fascinates the cat. I have a wet mop but don’t use it often. I put MERV13 filters in my HVAC, but I realized the suction was lifting the nearby ceiling tiles instead, so I taped them down.

Consider what contributes to dust in your home: I don’t go out much, and can’t track in mud, but I live over the garage in my apartment building, over a very busy street, and have sliding-glass balcony doors for windows, so a lot of my dust is tires and exhaust. Also pollen year-round because SoCal, and of course cat and myself shedding. Litterbox dust too, at least she’s not a big digger. I don’t have laundry machines in my unit but I imagine they’d make lint dust. You might not be able to change things that add grime, but it helps you feel less like it’s your fault.

When I worked in a china shop, we wiped down every item on every shelf with Windex (spray your paper towels, not what you’re cleaning) every day. But I was getting paid for that. It makes a huge difference, along with knowing someone else will notice.

I just got a coffee pot with no timer, just an on/off switch. (Because it also has no black plastic, even the filter holder.) I never needed a timer, but now I do have to be aware the keep-hot plate will stay on until I turn it off, instead of self-stopping after 2 hours.

A fictional response, but based on some actual potluck jello salads I tasted as a child. Ham isn’t so bad but those martini olives were a nasty surprise.

Lime Jello Ham Salad with grapes and pimento olives

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