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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: September 12th, 2023

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  • Therapists often use this term ADLs, Activities of Daily Living, when accessing the impact of a person’s behaviors. Things like bathing, dressing yourself, feeding yourself, cleaning your living space, getting to work and maintaining relationships are all ADLs. Basically, activities and behaviors that help you meet Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

    Your question is a bit vague. “Too much” is nebulous. Are you worried that you look at more porn than average? I’m not sure what’s average. I also don’t think it really matters. I think if your porn use is impacting your ability to complete your ADLs, that’s a problem regardless of frequency.

    If you’re meeting your ADLs but looking at porn 15 times a day, I’m not sure if it’s truly harmful. There’s something to be said about how porn can create unrealistic expectations of sex and how people interact, but I think if you’re otherwise thriving, your porn usage is largely irrelevant.

    If you’re concerned you’re looking at too much porn, that’s worth examining. It might be helpful to do some introspection into why you think that, come up with a metric that helps you evaluate that, and use that to make a judgement.

    Edit: Sorry, I’m not a therapist, ADLs don’t include social behaviors. These would fall under IADLs, or Instrumental Activities of Daily Living, which would also include stuff like managing money or preparing meals for yourself. Though, I think if your behaviors impact those, that should still be concerning.






  • Fishing and hiking are both fairly cheap and easy hobbies to start outdoors. Now might not be the greatest time, with the cold weather and all, but hiking can still be plenty rewarding now, though it needs more gear to keep warm.

    I strongly advocate fishing because you can get started for less than $50 and it’s a great way to familiarize yourself with what’s around you in nature. Most any waterway will have fish in it and some near you may even be stocked for trout preservation programs.

    It’s a lot more than throw a worm on a hook with a bobber and wait (not that this is a bad way to fish!). There’s a lot to study and learn and techniques to try and hone. You get to study what fish are in your area, their feeding habits and behaviors, and different things you can do to fool them into biting your offering.

    Once the weather gets nice, it’s fun to keep your rod and tackle in the car and just pull over to try a new fishing spot when you see some water. You also get great views of rivers, lakes, waterfalls and parks. I really relish pulling up to the local lake after a hard day at work and just casting as I watch the sun set. Depending on your area, not a bad time to pull out a joint and just relax.

    Plus, eating the fish you catch is a treat in its own! There’s many fun ways to prepare various fish and a lot are transferable to other species. Cooking is another fun hobby, but it’s less outdoor focused unless you have a grill or other outdoor kitchen tools.











  • Well, this kind of way of making new friends might not be for you, and that’s okay. It’ll be harder to meet strangers if you seem closed off to them, but everyone works a bit differently and not everyone can strike up a conversation with people they don’t know. In fact, it seems fewer and fewer people want to do that as the years go on. That’s alright.

    Mostly, what I mean is that you’re not gonna find yourself in this sort of situation if you don’t put yourself in it, but you’re also far from alone in not thinking it possible or even not wanting it. In my friend group of 40 odd people, there’s like 2 people who meet others like this. And they’re both dating people who would NEVER imagine of acting that way.

    I think it was more common prior to the internet, since I’m not sure how you’d meet new people or maintain relationships without putting yourself in situations where this kinda thing would happen, but I’m 30ish years old so I don’t really have a memory of those times.