Hah, that was me. People would find out and feel sorry for me but I was like nah, it’s actually been amazing and we’re both so much happier being divorced.

I was very sad of course, but we still lived together for a month before they finally found a place to live, and we were really getting at each other’s throats by the end. But my God, the moment they left and I knew I finally had the place to myself, it was the happiest I’ve ever been. I was on cloud 9 for like 3 months, just pure fucking joy the likes I’ve never experienced since. I think it was just finally being free and knowing I could properly move on with my life. I cleaned the whole apartment like a crazy person, bought new furniture, bought a new PC. It was like having a new lease on life. 10/10 would recommend getting a divorce when your marriage isn’t working anymore and you both tried your best.

Army Edition

For real. That moment in that movie is basically telling you that you cannot save your best friend from crippling sadness and depression. The horse and the boy love each other but it doesn’t matter in the end.

I was allowed to watch that movie waaay too young, and I know it’s the same for others my age, but I was pissed when I learned that one of my friends let her 5 year old watch it because she’d seen it when she was 5, and apparently forgot or didn’t care that the horse dies?? Like how can you forget that?? And then the 5 year old heard us talking about the movie and the FIRST thing she says is “Remember the horse?” in this sad little voice. Way to traumatize your kid.

My maternal grandmother lived to be 96. My paternal grandmother is still alive and will be 100 this year. Her mother, my great grandmother, lived to be 102. Both my parents are still alive and in decent health in their mid 70s. Baring any severe accidents, I feel like I’m going to live into my late 90s, which I’m not thrilled about. My soon to be 100 grandma has been ready to die for a decade. Her husband died in 1992. All her friends are dead. One of her children is dead. Some of the children of her friends are already dead. She is very healthy and lives comfortably with my aunt and uncle, but she’s lonely just the same, and I feel bad for her. Nothing much makes her happy anymore. I know people wish for a long, healthy life, but the idea of outliving everyone you love seems miserable.

At work I use OneNote and digital sticky notes. Outside of work I use Samsung Notes, or pen and paper

Farting Waffle Maker

I second this one, it’s hilarious and the guy is a great storyteller

My now-ex who was always horrible at handling their liquor got way too drunk while we were out at the bars in the city. We had to take a 45-min train ride back to the house we were renting during our vacation, where some of my extended family were also staying.

Ex could barely stay conscious during the train ride, then suddenly gets down on the floor and says they’re gonna hurl. Luckily I had a plastic bag with me and they threw up in that, but it was a small bag, plus everyone on the train was understandably grossed out, so I make them get up and move to the bathroom at the end of the train (thank God there was one). I distinctly remember a woman grabbing the hand of her small child and pulling them away as she looked on in disgust.

I lock us in the bathroom and Ex throws up in the toilet the entire rest of the train ride. Finally we get to our stop and we have to wait until the very last minute to get off the train because Ex doesn’t want to leave the bathroom. Right as we step off the train, it starts moving again to go back to the city.

My cousin picks us up from the train station in their very nice/expensive SUV, and the whole ride back to the house I’m cursing Ex out saying don’t you dare throw up in this nice car. We get to the house without incident but I have to drag them up the stairs to the bedroom, get a trashcan under them just in time because they started throwing up again, then monitor them the rest of the night to make sure they don’t pass out and choke on their own vomit.

The next morning Ex says they’re so sorry and will “make it up to me”, and one of the things they offer for this is to “clean the whole apartment when we get home”, as though that’s normally MY responsibility?? I was pissed at them for weeks for embarrassing me in public and to my extended family (it was the first time they’d met). Such a fucking idiot. One of so many reasons they’re now my ex.

Finally

My tinfoil hat theory that is all in jest is that Mars was “First Earth” and it got real fucked up and anything that was there got wiped out and what we see now is all that’s left of it.

Yaaaas, omg. Luckily I didn’t see it in theaters but even renting it at home, I remember by hour 2 I was just laying on the floor begging for it to be over while my now-ex insisted we watch it through to the end.

I also never understood why people thought Rorschach was “such a badass” and supposedly some kind of role model when he clearly needed therapy and was just stewing in his own self-pity and self-hatred and made that his whole personality.

I didn’t like these either. I think it would have been better if he WASN’T already some badass guy with access to firearms but instead just some regular dude that got his life ruined, and then he had to figure out how to get revenge on everyone while being just an average guy. They could have gotten real creative with the methods he uses to locate people, obtain firearms, plot his revenge, etc. I feel like his character went into the whole thing already having the upper hand. It would have been a better movie to watch him rise up from real rock bottom and still kick everyone’s ass in the end.

Watchmen (2009 film)

It’s so fucking slow and SO GODDAMN LONG.

Drink even less alcohol than last year (and I cut way back last year, too)

One of my uncles met his wife because he stopped to help her when her car blew a tire and she was at the side of the road trying to change it. It’s like something out of a Hallmark movie.

Chalk and charcoal

For me it’s seams in my socks, like right across the toe, and then that shit bunches up inside my shoe if I don’t put it n right and it makes me nuts

Pasta with ketchup instead of tomato sauce

Rice with ketchup

Ketchup with ketchup

I love ketchup