I have a few.
One is abbreviation hell. Nobody is going to spend the time trying to decipher what you mean when you use over several abbreviations. It is just better if you’d explain than expecting people to understand aside from commonly used abbreviations that are easy to understand.
Another is overstepping your limits for the sake of getting a partner. Compromising your own standards is perhaps one of the worst things you can do when it comes to trying to find dates. Like you’re suddenly okay with dating single parents but you don’t like children. You’re suddenly okay with dating religious people but you’re not religious. Things like that. Because it means you’re desperate and you’re setting yourself up and setting them up for a bad date.
Assuming that a profile is enough to understand someone. Sure, don’t waste time/drag out meeting someone but… actually talk (video chat) and ask questions before you move things along.
Ask questions important to you and what you are looking for.
Video chat? Wtf. Have people ever heard of coffee? Very public, fairly short, no commitment. You can even say the no commitment part up front. Just meet, don’t expect anything, and see how it goes.
I have a stupid question.
How do people “see how it goes” and ever have a positive experience? For me, even if the person is friendly and funny, I am so uncomfortable that I never want to do it again. Literally no one has ever felt any different for me. Even if I gain some level of pleasantness and satisfaction from the interaction, it is incredibly mild and doesn’t ever make up for anything or make me wish to continue. I have tried seeing people repeatedly to no avail. The cost-benefit analysis never nets me out on top. I have always been a perpetual loner due in part to this. Does this mean I’m a psychopath or something? Because I cannot connect with and gain satisfaction from humans the way they seem to be able to with each other?
There are physiological causes of anxiety.
What do you mean exactly?
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-a-hidden-medical-condition-causing-your-anxiety
Also maybe insecure attachment style: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults
Ah. I have always been the way that I am, so it is not caused by a medical disorder or substance.
That sounds so atypical as to make me think it may be best to have a conversation with a mental health professional about.
For me there’s an initial discomfort, but it’s the same discomfort I get when I’m exploring somewhere new. Its exciting and fun and I’m figuring out how I feel about this person/place. I get sad when I don’t experience it enough
I don’t get discomfort from excitement so I’m not sure what you mean. I’ve spoken to quite a few therapists at this point. None of them seem to be able to have anything worthwhile to say. ChatGPT would probably have more substance to say in response to things.