Does my double-ended dildo count as one or two? Does size matter? Does a tarzan with bunny ears count as one or two? Does my hand count? How about a cucumber?
So many questions.
At this rate they’ll need to define and standardize what constitutes a dildo so they can ban the right things. At what length is a dildo dangerously concealable? Do fully vibromatic dildos need to be more strictly controlled? Is a cucumber a dildo, or an AOP (Any Other Phallus)? Should doctor’s offices hold dildo buybacks?
If they can outlaw a specific store from selling something, they can outlaw any store from selling anything. This isn’t just about sex toys, it’s a test to see what they can get away with.
Tbf, the bill targets “retail stores,” not specifically Walmart.
The point stands. There is no TBF here.
Small government, uh?
Imagine being so unable to pleasure women that you’re jealous and petty against your wife’s dildo collection.
The very people that come up with these pearl clutch laws are the same people who also want to legalize marrying 12 year olds. But won’t anyone think of the children, PLEASE!
And scream about “parents rights”
that’s a funny way to spell child brides.
“Compromises the innocence of children”???
Unless you are incredibly liberal parents, children don’t even know what the fuck those are until they’re old enough to recognize it as anything more than just a “tube”. By the time they grasp the idea that it’s something sexual, they’re old enough to handle that knowledge.
“smaller government” apparently just means few dildos for the inspector to have to count.
Republicans have long wanted a government small enough to fit inside a vagina.
Exqueeze me? The fuck? Is that real?
Edit: yes. Although it’s mired in legislative gobbledygook:
Sec. 43.23. OBSCENITY. (a) A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he wholesale promotes or possesses with intent to wholesale promote any obscene material or obscene device.
(b) Except as provided by Subsection (h), an offense under Subsection (a) is a state jail felony.
© A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he:
(1) promotes or possesses with intent to promote any obscene material or obscene device; or
(2) produces, presents, or directs an obscene performance or participates in a portion thereof that is obscene or that contributes to its obscenity.
(d) Except as provided by Subsection (h), an offense under Subsection © is a Class A misdemeanor.
(e) A person who promotes or wholesale promotes obscene material or an obscene device or possesses the same with intent to promote or wholesale promote it in the course of his business is presumed to do so with knowledge of its content and character.
(f) A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same.
So, women seem to be exempt (“he possesses with intent”) and it is a “performance”. Whatever that means. And it’s a misdemeanor.
But it’s real. Can have six dildos in a performance, but more than six? Oooh that’s a paddlin’.
That law looks like it’s written so that they could arrest me for having 6 books they didn’t like. Obscene could mean anything here. It just screams “selective punishment”.
It is defined earlier in the law but it was too long and boring to paste in. It still boils down to “obscene” items, which - yeah.
Does Texas employ door-to-door dildo inspectors?
Is there a state office of dildo regulations, wieghts, and measures?
I’m interested in seeing a judicial decision on whether a double ended dildo counts as one dildo or two dildos.
If you create a religion with a dildo being recognized by your dogma as official iconography, could you unlock “unlimited dildos” based upon religious freedom exceptions?
Always love how republicans and conservatives are constantly so preoccupied with sex, sex, sex all the time and in ever more imaginative and obscure ways.
I now associate their religious beliefs to sex, Jesus, sex, guns, sex, the American flag and sex.
Did you say “Jesus sex”?
Uhm, you can buy dildos at Walmart?
Why has nobody told me before now?
Support small businesses, don’t get your dildos from Walmart
Yes you can! Except they’re usually locked in a display case and you have to go and get someone to help you get one
I always like to ask if they have anything bigger in the back.
